so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
