You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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