you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
