So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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