I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
