Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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