when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
