I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
