My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize