Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
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So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
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Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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