I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
