I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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