I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize