yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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