boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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