Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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