If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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