hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
COCAINE IS GR8
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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