drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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