ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
