Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
