I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
