my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
