you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
