Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.