the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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