It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
