I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's never too late to be topless.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
