bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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