they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick