Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As shirtless as possible
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....