I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.