you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/