The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.