I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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