What a fucking waste of an outfit
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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