addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
