Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
