Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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