I could make wine with my vomit
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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