So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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