after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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