I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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