with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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