Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
