Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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