i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
