I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
