she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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