Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
