i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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