So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
