I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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