He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think i got beer on your cat.
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