clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
