the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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