I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize