awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
