Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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