I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
