i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.