she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You may now shotgun with the bride
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face