The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I love you. Go after that dick