the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
