the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
