i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
