I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't deserve a penis
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
