is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
