I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
