Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
