She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
